i'll admit it: i think farts are funny

Okay, so I'm a firm believer that flatulence is funny. Gross, yes...but hilarious nonetheless.

This past summer, Max was drawing with his side walk chalk and came up with about five different versions of the little guy in the picture up there.

Me: What are you drawing?

Max: It's a fart.

Me: A wha? A fart?!

Max: Yes.

Me: Why is he wearing a hat?

Max: All farts wear hats. But different farts wear different hats.

Me: Oh really? Explain.

Max: Well, mean farts wear top hats, because they're bald. Mean farts also have fangs...just two fangs. No other teeth. Nice farts also wear top hats, but they have hair. And they don't have two fangs...just two regular square teeth. And silly farts, they wear beanies. They don't have hair or teeth, but they don't mind...because they're silly.

Me: A-ha. What else? Is that fart riding a unicycle?!

Max: Yes. Silly farts ride unicycles. (Note: Silly fart depicted above.)

Me: Just silly farts?

Max: Yes, other farts walk, or jump. But they all carry canes.

Me: All farts carry a cane?

Max: Yes. And a briefcase.

Me: Where...what...uh...well, what's in their briefcases?

Max: Duh. A banana.

Me: *silence* Bursting into a fit of laughter.

Max: Now he's laughing, too.

So, to sum it all up:

• All farts wear hats; types of hats are determined by the type of fart. (Unfortunately, I can't help but picture the type of fart associated with a swimcap...ew.)
  

• All farts carry canes and briefcases with a banana inside. (Purpose of banana remains undetermined...but one can only imagine. I'm just glad Max didn't choose to stick corn in there...)
  

• Farts are rather active; some walk, some jump, some walk AND jump, and some ride unicycles. (I wouldn't be surprised if a fart appeared on and episode of So You Think You Can Dance...and won.)
  

• Farts have varying styles and degrees of teeth, based on the farts' varying degrees of temperament. (So, some farts have higher dental costs than others. Although, I'm assuming all have halitosis.)

• My son has a wild imagination and an awesome sense of humor. And his penchant for creating sidewalk chalk masterpieces astounds me. (But what can I say? That's 50% of my DNA in there...*insert my best Don-Knotts-as-a-proud-Barney-Fife impersonation here.)