Wednesday, December 31, 2008

schmerica, i hope you don't mind...

...but I just had to.

To everyone out's just one reason why my friend Schmerica (Erica) is one of my bestest friends ever.

This is the Nativity Scene she and her boyfriend created this year:

Best. Thing. Ever.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

slothy...but you love it.

Yes, yes. I know. No updates in for-EVER. Look, with the holidays and whatnot, I've been busy. Forgive me?

Great, let's just move forward and put this all behind us.

Don't give me any of that lip. I know, I know. I've failed you. I've let you down. Now sit down, shut up, and open wide for a heaping helping of randonimity.

1.) My cell phone is suffering from a hefty case of dementia. How so, you ask? Well, first of all, it tells me it's charging...all the time. And it actually believes it's charging itself...without the use of a charger. No shit. It even goes so far as to show me that it's fully charged, before being sucked back into reality and proceeding to show me that in the real world it only has one battery bar left.

Hell, the damn thing doesn't even shut off anymore. Nope. It likes to pretend it's charging when the power is off. And, when the charger is plugged into the phone? Well, it doesn't charge.

It also doesn't like me to tell it what volume it should be set at, and has lost all use of it's motor skills, as it no longer vibrates. It's kind of like a volume lottery; I turn the phone on, and it randomly chooses how loud or soft it chooses to ring. Fun.

So, this prompted me to speed up the process of buying a new cell phone. And I have now officially entered the 21st century: I bought an iPhone.

I feel sort of bad. The first day my phone started showing symptoms of its circuit board deterioration, I said to it (literally), "You know, Phone, I always defended your simplicity. For 4 long years I stuck by you, regardless of how out-of-date you are. And now this? Could you please snap out of it?"

The phone was quiet for a few seconds, after which it replied, "Beep! Charging. Beep Beep! Not Charging. Beep! Charging. Beep Beep not charg-Beep! Charg-Beep beep! Not-Beep! Charging!"

I gave it a few days, after which I discovered I could no longer control its volume.

I became very introspective over the holiday. I realized that this would be my cell phone's last Christmas with me. I could not trust it alone, and I could no longer take care of it the way it needed to be taken care of.

So Sunday afternoon, I switched to AT&T and ordered my iPhone.

I still haven't broken the news to my old cell phone. I'm hoping that by the time my new phone arrives, Old Celly will have gone into full-blown amnesia and won't realize that when people dial my number, it's not her/him that rings, but the iPhone.

I plan to let him/her live out what's left of his/or her battery life until one day, well, one day I'll wake up and his/her screen will be forever dark.

It's sad, but it's for the best. You were a good friend to me you old hunk o' junk. You and your llama screen saver and your poorly made homemade ringtones. I'll miss the midi version of the Perfect Strangers theme song that you played as my alarm. I remember we won that one together...during a rousing game of Name That Tune- TV and Movie Edition back in December 2005. Ah...the memories.

Any how, the first app I plan to get for my iPhone is iFart. I think Old Celly would have enjoyed it.

2.) Christmas was pretty good, aside from the fact that I was PMSing like nobody's business. I swear, you could have seen this storm of irritation and destruction on a radar map. I was crabby as hell, and for no good reason.

Luckily, however, it quickly passed and left little damage. Which is good, because although celebrating Christmas with a hellfire attitude is pretty awful, starting the New Year with one is much, much worse.

3.) I've had a lot of time off of work due to the holidays (and this nasty chest and sinus cold). It makes me realize how much I love what I do and how great the company and the people I work for are. And how blessed and lucky I am to have what I have.

4.) Quitting smoking in March. Will keep you posted. Which reminds me, I need to track my cigarettes.

5.) Going to try and lose 30 pounds...again. To prepare, I've been stuffing my face with all things fattening...and drinking massive amounts of RC cola. Gotta get it while I can.

6.) Second City classes start in 2 weeks. Holy crap. I. Am. Stoked.

7.) Gonna learn to play guitar. That said, I'd like you to meet Otis:

I haven't yet purchased this glittery blue gem of a girly guitar (with a boy's name...after the great Otis of my musical heroes...), but I'm saving up. Then it's lessons at the Old Town School of Folk Music for me. Can't wait.

8.) I think that's it for now. And I will try really hard to update more often.

9.) Oh yes! There is other news. Part of my many New Year's Resolutions stems from the fact that I haven't seen enough movies. So, I will be resolving to watch at least one movie per week, and write what I learned from it. This also means there will be a new blog from me for you to be able to follow my progress and see what I discover: Cinematic Resolution

Feel free to take a sneak peek and bookmark it now. I plan to start promptly on January 1, 2009.

10.) Happy New Year to you all!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

one year ago today

So, I was trying to think why December 18th seemed to feel like it had some sort of meaning. And then it hit me: December 18th marks the one year anniversary of my college graduation.

It still seems weird to me, I mean, I spent so much time at Purdue. I worked super hard and I loved every minute of learning about all sorts of things...

...well, except for math...I avoided math by taking logic instead. And logic is just like math, but you're not solving number're solving all sorts of other cool problems. For example, our final group project was to use what we learned to come to a logical answer to the Kennedy assassination Magic Bullet Theory. Very interesting stuff.

But I digress, it's been an entire year since I ran through the halls of the Star Plaza theater...late to my own graduation, fearing that after all that time I wouldn't be able to walk or that I would have to be disruptive and try to sneak in and find my seat out of 500 graduates in the middle of the opening speeches.

I remembering running so fast that my little white collar thingy that the women had to wear, was falling off, blowing behind me, the sticky tabs holding it on getting stuck in my hair.

Luckily I found my place in line just in time. And as I sat there, waiting to finally get my degree, I remember thinking about Max, sitting there...likely bored out of his gourd, but the fact that he could experience this with me was incredible.

And afterwards, he handed me 2 dozen roses and his eyes just glittered with pride and excitement for me.

Then we went to one of those Japanese restaurants where they cook on your table and I got to try and flip and tap the spatulas on the cook top...which was hilarious.

I really can't believe that was a year ago.

Also, I guess this would be a good blog to let you all know that because I'm such a lover of learning things, I'm officially enrolled at the Second City training center Chicago! Woo!

My Level A classes begin Thursday, January 15th. So freaking excited.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

i'm going to be blunt here...

I was driving today when "Magic Man" by Heart came on the radio. Now, the song itself---especially the lyrics--- is overtly sexual...there's no doubting that.

But there was something else I noticed while listening to the guitar solo...the guitar solo itself even sounds like sex. No really.

I was simply going to post that one song up here so you all could agree or disagree or come to your own conclusions about the guitar solo in "Magic Man," but as I looked for the song, I decided instead of creating a playlist with only one track, I should compile a list of sexy least sexy songs in my opinion.

So, if you're bored...take a listen to "Music is Sexy." They're songs I think are pretty darn hot-to-trot.

And at the very least, take a listen to "Magic Man" and just try to deny what I've said about the guitar in that song...

...I dare you.

Also, my bog layout hides the scroll bar on the if you need to scroll back up, just refresh my blog...sorry about that!

Monday, December 8, 2008

zig a zig---what?

Real quick, as I drove into work today I got stuck in a little construction traffic.

No matter, really, as I had the radio to keep me company. Of course, when the radio started playing the Spice Girls, I found myself at a crossroads.

Do I leave it on or switch the station? And for some odd reason, I was just pulled into the song...seriously. I could not turn it off to save my life.

What the hell does that mean?

Monday, December 1, 2008

bye, bye pescatarianism...

So, yesterday morning I battled a four-hour long gall bladder attack. Combine that with the fact that my Thanksgiving meal consisted of only plain mashed potatoes, bread, plain noodles, and green bean casserole, and I have come to the conclusion that I no longer wish to remain meatless.

However, I lasted nearly half a year AND I learned a little self-control when it comes to meal choices.

So I will commence eating meat moderation.