Sunday, June 29, 2008

girls' night out

It was my friend Sarah's 27th birthday, so to celebrate the girls all went out to the Office for some drinks. darts, and shit-shooting. It was the first Indiana girls' night I've been involved with (aside from Pioneer Tap Wednesdays) for a long, looooong time.

But it was fun. And after a few hours, the inevitable face roulette and rollercoaster pics were taken. Here are mine:

Face Roulette

"Act Like You're on a Rollercoaster!" was a pretty fun night. And it took my mind off of a lot of life-adjustment related crap.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

shift, change, morph, move

That sort of sums up my life right now...but in a good way overall.

Three years ago at this time, I was, well, I was sort of a mess. There was this negative relationship that ended in February 2005...but for the better. And not so much because the guy was a jerk..I mean, he sort of was...but because we totally weren't right. Totally weren't.

So by this time three years ago, I was trying to figure things out with myself. I hadn't really considered myself for the two years I was with said guy, and then all of a sudden there I was...all up in my face...and it was like I was looking at a complete stranger.

I had a lot of fun back in 2005. I really did. And like I said, I was kind of a mess. But a good mess. I was really fearless. I was exploring new places. I was trying new things. I was shucking away the shell I had created during that bad relationship with...we'll call him DC...with DC.

And it was incredible.

Hell, I was 30 pounds lighter back then too...and I didn't even exercise. How I wish it were that simple now!

So why am I writing about this? This "me" from 3 years ago?

Well, because I sort of miss her. I miss her a lot. She was fun. She wasn't uptight. And she was pleasantly naive.

Even for the next year, after things finally started falling into place, she was still around. And then, it was like she changed. I changed.

I started to fear breaking the rules. I started to care what other people thought. I started to stop trying new things, instead choosing to stick to the familiar. Oh yeah, and I gained back that 30 pounds I'd lost.

But I'm also thinking about that "Three-Years-Ago Me" because I'm once again at a turning point...a metamorphosis stage if you will. I worked really hard to get to where I am and I'm really happy with how it's all played out. Every up and every down. Sounds sappy and sentimental...maybe even a little (a lot) cliche, but it's true.

So now I'm at another one of those points and I'm trying to remember what I was like three years ago when I just let go and let be. When I stopped trying to please everyone else, and tried to live for what was important. I hope I can get to that point again...

...because three years from now I'll be looking back to June 2008 and remembering this time super fondly. I'll probably even want to relive it a little, so I'll pull out my CDs and pick out the ones with the songs that I'm listening to now and play it...hoping to bring back everything I felt now. If I quit smoking by then (which I REALLY hope I will...), I'll probably even crave a cigarette.

And maybe I'll even have gained back 30 pounds that I had lost...or that I really hope I'll lose in the next few months.

It's just sort of a weird time I guess. In good ways and bad ways. But when I look back? The best thing is, I'll really only reminisce about the good.

my forehead is a battlefield

and my skin is losing to the all-powerful forces of sebum. Sebum is such a disgusting word...but what it's doing to my face is even more disgusting. skin looks like a shit ton of pimply ass.

So I have two options:

1.) Cover it with make-up to camouflage the issue, in turn making it much worse by clogging my pores even further...or

2.) Try to convince the world that Cousin It's coif is the "new black," and completely wrap my face in my hair.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Tired. Work. Cubs game. Going for 17 hours straight. Still not done. Writing. Tired. ZzZzZzZzZz......

Saturday, June 21, 2008

i mean...

I've realize that I abuse the phrase, "I mean..."

This troubles me. I mean...shit. There I go again.

I shouldn't be so repetitive. I shouldn't be so redundant. I mean...I


Point is, please forgive me if I repeat somethings sometimes. I mean...

F*ck! Really?! (Interrobang!)

That's just the way I speak/write/think. I will work on it. I mean it. Wait? Is "I mean it" equal to "I mean..."? For the purpose of this post, I vote no.

Friday, June 20, 2008

the 4th is coming! holy cow.

My mom recently reminded me that the 4th of July is only a few weeks away. This kind of shocked me. I mean, it doesn't seem like it's been a year since we were eating hot dogs, blowing crap up, and trying to haggle the folks at the fireworks stand for a discount. I mean, they say, "Buy 1 get 4,534 free!" But really, the cost of 1 is equal to the cost of 4,535. What a scam. Nevertheless, the opportunity to blow things up makes it difficult to say no. And, in turn, we end up buying the explosives anyways.

The above picture is from last 4th of July. My friend Angela and I decided to light as many of those charcoal snake things on fire as possible at one time . I think our number of snakes totaled 50. Maybe more. And there's still a stain on the sidewalk almost a full year later.

I have always liked the 4th of July. You might even say it's my favorite holiday. I like walking around my town, seeing everybody out enjoying the day, drinking large quantities of beer, and eating grilled goodness. And then, as soon as the sun sets, the skies light up with colorful sparks and explosions--the smell of gun powder wafting throughout every street.

I'm really excited for 4th of July...just like I am every year I guess. It's just I never realize how close it is until someone reminds me. It's weird. It's like I forget about time because it's going by so fast. I mean, has it really been a year since we created that stain on my sidewalk?

It totally has. And before I know it, Pierogifest will be in full effect, too. Crazy. What's crazier? To think of everything that's happened between last 4th of July and now. Sometimes I forget how fast time passes. It really is like the blink of an eye.

Or the pop, fizzle, fade of a firework.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

5 interviews

As a motivator during my job hunt, Jeff told me that if I scored 5 interviews, he'd get me an LED hula hoop.

Turns out, JV was my fifth interview. So, not only did I get my dream job...but I also got this fancy light up hula hoop.

I look like a UFO...which has also been sort of a dream of mine, come to think of it.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


I realize that I forgot to set a post to post today. I know some of you check back regularly, (actually, not some...both. Both of you check back regularly....that's sarcasm folks. What can I say, it's early and my coffee JUST finished brewing. Which. Is. Awesome. Anyways...), so I didn't want to leave you hanging.

The truth is, this post is actually about nothing at all. It's filler if you will. But you keep reading it, which is awesome. Like my words have the ability to hypnotize you. Or perhaps it's that you don't trust the narrator (that's me!), and are thinking to yourselves, "Surely she's going to say SOMETHING relevant. If I just hang on to the end, it will be all worth it."

But I assure you. I plan to say nothing relevant. It's as though I'm simply putting words on the page for the sake of doing it. I could write that orange elephants fart turnips and you'd keep reading. I'm hoping it's because you're entertained. That's my main goal. To entertain you. To give you some sort of break in your day. Maybe even a little schadenfreude (that means that you feel better about yourself because of someone else's misery...interesting, right?)

And you want to stop. I know you do. You want to click that little "X" at the top of your window and close it all. But you won't. You can't. Even if you do, a few minutes from now you'll probably be wondering what you missed. That little voice in your head will still be saying, "Something relevant. Something relevant. What if I miss it? What if it's a key to the meaning of life?" And it will dig around in your brain, until you come back and finish reading.

Please don't feel like I'm egging you on. I mean, I keep pointing out the fact that you continue to read these words that really don't mean anything. I like the fact that you're still reading. As a matter of fact, I'm drunk with power. I bet I could go on for three more pages and you'd at least make it to page two.

Okay, I wouldn't really expect you to read to page two if I continued to write about writing nothing. But would you? I hope you would. Or maybe not. I have no idea. I can't even imagine what kind of nonsense I'd have to write to fill up two pages. It would be pretty ridiculous.

But I bet you'd keep reading it. So thank you.

See? Like I said. Nothing relevant. made it. Good for you...I think? Regular posting returns tomorrow. (I know...."Phew!")

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

just to clarify...i am not nocturnal

A friend of mine pointed out this morning that my blog posts are time stamped at around 4AM. I want to assure you that I do not stay up all night coming up with and writing these posts. (Believe me, if I did, they would probably be more interesting and I would have more than 5 least, I'd hope that'd be the case...but I digress.)

Actually, I tend to write a few posts at a time and schedule them to post at a later day/time. Unfortunately, it seems that Blogger is set to Pacific Time (either that or I haven't found the button to change it to Central), and I like my pre-written posts to post first thing in the morning.

That means that in order for my post to post (man this is getting redundant...) at 6AM, I must schedule it for 4AM. It does, in fact, post at 6AM---Central Time---but it remains time stamped 4AM---Pacific Time.


So yes...I sleep. just like most everybody else.

a belated memorial day post

This past Memorial Day, Jeff came over to hang out with me and my family. After lunch, we played a few mean games of Badminton. I liked to yell "Atta' boy, Luther!" whenever someone hit the shuttlecock.

I also like to say shuttlecock for no reason.

We also had a water balloon fight, and then eventually headed to the beach. I took this picture just before we got on the pier.

I made this hoop a while ago, and didn't realize that when I took the picture, it looked like I was purposely creating a rainbow.

I also didn't realize how freaked out I get when I walk on the pier. As soon as we got to the end of it, I turned around and walked back toward the parking lot, holding the railing for dear life.

Monday, June 16, 2008

holy frozen novelties, batman!

When I opened the freezer and found this...

...I knew it was gonna be a good day.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

fun with coworkers and jell-o

On my last day at the theater (Friday, 5-30-08), Patty and I decided to pull an office prank on one of our coworkers, Chuck.

Unfortunately, some of the Jell-O didn't make it and we could only encase his computer mouse.

I think it's glorious.

I especially like the candy cigarettes...(Great idea, Patty.)

We also made a trail of candy that led from Charlie's desk (another coworker) into Chuck's office, to try and make it look like it was all Charlie's doing. Unfortunately, we ran out before I could take a picture of that. Oh well.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

attack of the ceramic clown from cyberspace

Just before I left my last job, I decided to leave this as the desktop for the new assistant...whenever they find one.

My old boss ended up taking his clowns it was the least I could do.

Friday, June 13, 2008

on being a good samartian and other nunsense

I don't have a picture for this one, but if I had my camera...the moment would have been brilliant.

I was driving to the Tap Wednesday night when I noticed that the car in front of me was swerving a lot. At first I though maybe he was just talking on his cell not paying attention, or looking for something that fell under the seat.

But when he started turning his headlights of and on and then turning on his brights...I knew something really wasn't right.

I got close enough to get his license plate number and called the police.

The tricky part? Well, I was on a stretch of highway that passes through about 5 different cities, so I had to call the city I was passing through at the moment. As soon as I got through, I passed into another city so they had to transfer departments. However, the information was taken and hopefully no one got hurt.

After I got off the phone, I pulled into Walgreens. Now, it was about 11PM, so this next sentence may seem a little odd. Okay... A LOT odd.

As I parked, I noticed some nuns packing up their purchases in their car. Nuns? At Walgreens? At 11PM?

I took this as a good sign.

But's not finished yet.

I walked into Walgreens, I noticed about FIVE MORE NUNS.

Weird...but in a good kind of way I guess.

I waited in line as the nuns made their purchases. I stopped to look at the impulse buy section, and when I looked up I saw my Kodak moment...when I was sans Kodak.

A kid had just bought a pack of those sour punch straw things. You know, the licorice-type candies covered in sour sugar? Yeah, those.

Well, he was eating them and I guess when I looked at the amazing deals on miracle weight loss pills and glittery, neon lighters, he handed one to the nuns.

When I looked up, there were the nuns, sampling this sour candy...smiling and laughing...passing it around.

There, among the mini-shopping carts and blue Walgreens baskets, a gaggle of nuns were enjoying sour candy and laughing like kids. In my mind, I assumed that the happy nuns were God's way of saying, "Hey, Tiff. Thanks for doing the right thing." Or, "Don't worry about that driver...I'll make sure it's all right."

Or maybe it was just a matter of, "See? Nuns like candy, too."


A few weeks ago, Jeff and I went to support our friends from Blewt at a fundraiser for their trip to Comedy Central in LA.

A good time was had by all...

...well, unless you count the after effects of Jack Daniels consumed out of a 4-foot ski...

There was also talk of a hula hooping performance...but much booze was consumed, and karaoke sung...two songs were even sung by a vagina, I'm not kidding.

So who knows. I will let you know if and when the hoop and I take to the Blewt stage.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

introducing: charles leonard

This is Charles Leonard at my old desk, at my old job.

He now sits on my new desk, at my new job.

I think he likes it a lot.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

dollar store pillows aren't worth a dollar...

Will someone remind me never to put dollar store pillows in the dryer again...ever?


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

i'm f'in funny...

Went to Pioneer with the girls the other night. Angela recapped her Memorial Day camping trip.

Angela: I got hopped up on McDonald's Iced Coffee, so I was crazy the whole ride. And Danny brought his Michael Meyers Halloween mask.

Me: What did you do with it?

Angela: I put it on at the stop lights, rolled down the window and stared at people.

Me: You nut. What did they do?

Angela: Most of them laughed, but a few rolled their eyes.

Me: Lame.

Angela: Yeah, I know. I was like, "What? I'm fuckin' funny, dammit!"

So I took a picture of Angela, showing me what she looks like when she yells, "I'm fuckin' funny, dammit." But without the Michael Meyers mask.

Monday, June 9, 2008

chicken salad in a tomato

Hill Top Restaurant at Foster and California really takes this shit seriously...

Sunday, June 8, 2008

if i were in kansas...

...I might not be there anymore.

Yes...that's an actual picture of an actual tornado, actually taken by me and my actual (usually sub-par, but in this case actually wonderful) camera.

That is also Jeff's arm, and Jeff's car door.

Surprisingly enough, we were parking for a wedding reception, and the tornado was passing the banquet hall just a few miles away...heading toward my house.

As we drove to the reception hall, we realized that we were actually driving INTO THE PATH of the tornado. Thankfully, it wasn't the direct path, but at the point of realization we only had two options:

1.) Keep driving (we were almost there!)
2.) Take shelter at the Industrial Strip---a strip club famous for its Friction Dances. (Apparently, if you get one of these Friction Dances, you also get a complimentary t-shirt that lets the whole room know that you paid for a Friction Dance at the Industrial Strip and all you got was this stupid t-shirt---and a major boner. What? I saw some guy at the bar sporting his t-shirt...)

We decided to keep driving.

We did make it safely to the reception, albeit a few minutes late. (Did I mention that in addition to the tornado, I also got a flat tire while shopping for a dress to wear to the reception and then as we got in the car to go to the reception, that new dress broke?)

Needless to say, the reception was fun and the tornado didn't cause any major damage in our area.

I've heard that rain on your wedding day means you'll be rich.

I wonder what a tornado on your wedding day means?

Friday, June 6, 2008

i am sooooo not a murderer

So today the power went out at work. There were some guys in hard hats outside the building, so I'm assuming that it was their doing.

Unfortunately, I was recording some audio in a room with no windows at the time of the outage. And wouldn't you figure, I was learning how to use the program and the equipment. Of course, the power cut out at the exact same time I hit a button.

There I was, in a soundproof box, in complete darkness, thinking that I had just caused the power failure myself.

When I opened the booth door, I made my way (very slowly...) to the door, to hear my friends downstairs discussing the power failure. Phew. It wasn't me. Which was fortunate. What was unfortunate was that half of my audio was lost. Crap.

To pass the time, and to introduce us newbies to the rest of the team, we played a few rounds of Murderer. I was a freaking Townsperson EVERY TIME. However, I was unfairly accused a fair number of times. It was hilarious.

During the final round, it was down to me, Arnie, and Bob. I accused Bob because I was right next to Arnie and he never made a peep the entire time during the "murders." But I DID hear noise from Bob's area.

Bob, went next and after hearing my accusation, immediately pointed the finger at me.

It was all up to Arnie.

Now, I don't blame him, because well, I'm sure not knowing much about me there wasn't a whole lot of trust. I also didn't have any good defense besides, "It was totally Bob!"

In the end, Arnie chose me. And Bob had successfully massacred our "town" of 16 people.

Then the power came on and we all went back to work.

My first week at JV was awesome.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

take one for the team

So today was my first JV softball game.

It was super fun, although I was full of super suck. Which is fine. I gave it my all.

Actually, as I tried to field a grounder to the outfield (I was right center), I ended up sliding, rolling over my left shoulder and pulling God knows what.

I'm a bit sore, however, I'm fine. All I know is that one of my teammates informed me that my attempt at a save looked really cool.

Which was all part of the initial plan.

And even though I won in that respect...the Yahooligans spanked us...something like 439743897 to 6.

We'll get 'em next time...

Monday, June 2, 2008

vanilla chai with sugar and cream?

So, today was my first day at JV.


I met so many cool people, and the other new girl and I both got a round of applause after completing our first days on the job. In fact, as I drove home on Lake Shore Drive, I actually started to miss work.


That's never happened before. But I did. I can't wait to see what tomorrow has in store. It's a really great feeling to think that a.) I am working with an incredible group of people and b.) I am going to be doing work that I feel passionate about.

What's funny is that, prior to finding the job posting, I had no idea that a job like this even existed.

After I got back into Indiana, my eyes were hanging. All of the excitement from the past few weeks had finally caught up with me. Problem was, my day was far from over. So at 6:00pm, I decided to drive through Dunkin' Donuts for a small vanilla coffee with sugar and cream. I needed the caffeine boost to get me out to Griffith and keep me alert and cheering during Max's little league practice.

Me: "Hi. Can I please have a small vanilla coffee with cream and sugar?"
Muffled Dunkin Donuts Person: "Um. We only have medium?" (Yes, it was posed as a question.)
Me: "Oh that's fine."
Muffled Dunkin Donuts Person: "Cream and sugar still?" (As if the size of the cup played a role in my need for sweetener and half 'n half...)
Me: "Yes. Thank you."
Muffled Dunkin Donuts Person: "Okay. Please pull around."

After a few minutes, she came to the window, took my money, and handed me my drink. I could have sworn I'd heard her say, "Here's your vanilla chai," but I just thought she forgot herself.

Coffee. Chai. They sound nothing alike, but I suppose if she sounds muffled to me through the speaker, I must sound pretty muffled as well.

I drove off, anxiously anticipating that first rejuvenating sip.

It was freaking chai.

But...guess what?

The chai was actually much better than the coffee. The chai was CHOCK FULL OF DELICIOSITY. The chai was exactly what I needed. But I'm pretty sure I've never had hot vanilla chai before.

As a matter of fact, I didn't even know that Dunkin Donuts served chai.

As I enjoyed every single foamy, vanilla-filled, freaking delicious sip, I came to this simple conclusion:

Sometimes what we want or expect isn't what's best for us. Sometimes you stumble upon things completely by accident and in turn find exactly what you never knew you were looking for. And it's better than you could have ever imagined.

So here's to vanilla chai and my new career with JV. Two things that I never expected, but were just what I needed.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

in less than 12 hours

That's right. In less than twelve hours I'll be pulling into the JV parking lot for my first day of work.

I can't wait. This has been the longest two weeks in my life. I'll let you know how it goes. Although, confidentiality won't let me go into detail-detail, but I'll let you know the general idea.

I still can't believe that I've come this far. The magnitude of this situation is a good way.

And I will always be grateful.