Because You Might Not Care about My Job Hunt

That's right. I realize that perhaps some of you are reading my blogs, thinking, "I don't give a flying frack about this chick's job hunt."

Okay, fair enough.

I just spent the last 25 minutes wrestling with the paper shredder at work. I say wrestling because every time I fed it something, it gave me sass. "Paper bin is full." "Feeder is jammed." "That document tasted like a fart." (Okay, I made that last one up...but trust me, I saw what was written on that document. And if it had a taste, fart would be it.)

As I stuffed paper after paper into the machine, my mind began to wander. And then I noticed the universal warning symbols.

Okay, first of all, if you need a symbol to show you that it's dangerous to stick your hand into a row of fast moving, razor sharp blades, you have no business being anywhere near a paper shredder...hell, I wouldn't even let you use my cheese grater.

Second of all, I want to meet the first guy who actually got his necktie caught in the damn thing, requiring a new logo depicting a necktie, sharp blades, and the universal symbol for "no" to be placed on paper shredders across the world.

In all honesty, I hope the dude's okay. But really...what the hell was he doing?

In my boredom, I decided to take on the task of making up some more paper shredder warning symbols...you know, just in case.



No Fry Guy near paper shredder. But feel free to shove Ronald in there...please.


No Stevie Nicks near paper shredder. She wears curtains. That's all I gotta say.





Do not Put Cheese into paper shredder. Some dipwad might think this is okay. Okay, so I might be that dipwad. Better safe than sorry I guess.




No Gene Simmons near paper shredder. Frizzy rocker mullet, freakishly long tongue, and mad chest hair. Yep, that's a recipe for paper shredder disaster.





No llamas near paper shredder. There's no reason for this one other than the fact the I like llamas. And every office appliance could benefit from a decal of a cartoon llama. Period.

Okay, okay, so they're not the greatest logos, but they gave me an excuse to draw at work. And to be creative at work.

Otherwise it's back to shoving documents into various office appliances. Wee.

Till next time,
-Tiff