sad news

A few months ago, my parents took in a stray from our neighborhood that was noticeably pregnant. She'd had a few litters over the years, but it was winter and my parents were worried that her kittens wouldn't survive this time.

In March she gave birth to four adorable kittens, one short haired orange male, a black male, a tiger female, and a ginger, long-haired female.

When the kittens were old enough, we found homes for them, but Momma remained in the basement. My parents had made an appointment to get her spayed. See, she was a feral cat, which meant she's never be able to live in a domestic situation. So they thought the next best option would be to get her fixed and release her back into the neighborhood.

Although they would have loved to have found her a good home, because it wasn't possible they decided that if she had to be released, they may as well prevent her from having any more kittens, and allow her to live out the rest of her life without worrying about that.

Her appointment was scheduled for this morning, and my mom took her in at around 9am.

At 10:00am I got a call from my mom who was in tears.

Mom: "Tiff?"

Me: "What's wrong mom?"

Mom: "Momma didn't make it through the surgery."

Me: "What happened?!"

Mom: "They couldn't wake her from the anesthesia. Her heart stopped. I feel like it's my fault. I didn't get to say goodbye because I thought she'd be coming back home."

I reassured her that it wasn't her fault, and that these things happen. I mean, if she had made it through, and we released her back into the neighborhood any number of things could have happened out there, too. At least in this situation, she peacefully slept. And for the past few months she had a warm bed, food, water, and a place to nurse and raise her kittens.

My mom mentioned that Harlow, one of the kittens, began acting really strange just before or right after my mom got the news. Like her little kitten instincts knew that her mother had just passed.

I called my mom to check in on her. I know how she feels. Last October I accidentally backed over a cat in the driveway. It was the worst feeling in the world. To think that it was my fault that an animal died.

We later figured that the cat must have already been hurt and that I had actually probably put it out of any pain it was already in. I was going so slowly that it seemed unlikely that any animal wouldn't have been able to get out of the way of my car.

My mom's okay. Harlow has been sleeping on her chest all day. They're taking care of each other. And Momma is probably looking down, relieved that she doesn't ever have to go back out on the harsh streets and fight to survive.

At least, that's my prayer.