square peg

I've always felt a little out of place. I mean always. Anywhere. No matter what.

It's not entirely in a bad way, and perhaps I could blame it on mild chronic self-esteem deficiency, but no matter what, I seem to always feel like I just don't fit in.

I guess it's kind of hard to explain. And as I write this now, it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense even though it's been on my mind all day. Literally. All. Day.

I've always had this issue with being "normal." More specifically, it's just that I've never felt entirely normal. Which I suppose is a good thing, I mean, normal can be sort of bland, boring, beige. But I imagine that there's some sort of comfort in normalcy. And I think that's what I feel like I'm missing.

Or, perhaps, maybe it's not really normalcy that I crave. Maybe it's just a sense that who I am isn't really all that out-of-place or awkward. That I could actually find comfort just by being me. But no matter what, I just can't seem to shake the fact that most days I feel like a square peg in a very round hole.

In short, more often than not I feel rather awkward. Always have.

And maybe for me that's just normal.