Saturday, February 28, 2009

underconfident.

So, since I've started my improv classes, I've felt a lot more confident about myself. However, for some reason, over these past two weeks or so, I've felt like the most awkward, unfunny, overweight, aging pile of doo-doo on the planet.

Odd thing is, I don't really know why. Part of me wants to blame the weather. I mean, seriously, could spring just get here already? For real.

But part of me thinks that I'm being too critical of myself. To self-aware for my own good. I know that when I don't give a toot about what other people think, I end up having a much better time, whether I'm out doing some karaoke, or grocery shopping.

It's when I pull apart everything I do or say in terms of how I imagine others are interpreting those things, that I start to feel unfunny or unlikable.

I just wish there could be a 70 degree day, sun shining, people out walking, where I could feel a little taste of spring to get me out of this funk.

I also need to buckle down and eat right like I've promised myself. Perhaps if I stop making the goal to "be skinny" and make the goal to "be healthy" I'll have more success.

Who knows.

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