Wednesday, October 22, 2008

for future reference...

Please, if I ever...EVER...discuss my birthday again, in terms of plans, parties, celebrations, etc., remind me to stop. Also remind me to not plan or get excited for said birthday because it tends to only blow up in my aging face and upset me for no reason, ruining an otherwise normal, yet decent day, and turning it into a day of self-pity and overall upsettedness.

I was doing so well, too. I guess I could measure some small amount of success in the fact that I didn't give a damn about my birthday until 3 days before. Usually I'm excited and planning for weeks. Unfortunately, I decided last minute to cram that excitement in anyhow, and, alas...here I am, questioning myself, pitying myself, and just feeling plain old.

But as it draws nearer (like, 12:22am tomorrow---which is almost still like a part of today...), it just gets worse and worse and I don't know whether to laugh or to cry. Last night I, of course, chose the latter.

Hell, I won't even be celebrating my usual Pioneer Tap birthday party. I won't even be going to the Tap tonight. Nope, I will be sitting on my almost-28-year-old ass, alone, watching TV, watching the clock strike 12:22am (that is, unless, I have fallen asleep as has been the case over the past few months), thinking, "It's my birthday. Whooptie-freakin-do. No one cares. I wish there was a damned new episode of Rock of Love Charm School on right now...but that's not til Sunday. Gosh, Tiff, you are getting old. 28? 28?! Really? Where the fuck did that time go? Holy shit. Old and sitting alone on a couch. On your birthday."

Who knows, maybe at that moment I'll let out a hilarious fart or something to shake me from the thoughts that will have, at that point, no doubt invaded my 2-years-away-from-30-sitting-alone-on-a-freaking-couch-on-my-birthday mind.

Let's see, a little under 7 hours to go.

(And that doesn't even count my birthday "party" on Friday...which at this point consists of 3 guests...one of them being myself. But I guess that's my fault for delaying the inevitable by trying to avoid celebrating my birthday in the first place and sending the invite only 3 days before the party. I can't freaking win, can I?)

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